I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
