last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize