ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
