I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
