So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize