A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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