I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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