please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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