As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
