When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
