Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
