That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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