im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
