I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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