I think I died a long time ago.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
