these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
