It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
