i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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