Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
