Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
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Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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