shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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