Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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