they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
