I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Shame - the story of my life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
