What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
