I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
