Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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