I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
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it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize