we have officially lost it.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
