i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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