Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I love you. Go after that dick
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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