You can't motorboat a personality
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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