covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I bet he comes in French.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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