I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
