I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
