You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
