There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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