I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
so much tequila, so little girl.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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