Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
