She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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