Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
