if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
