My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
