I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
