i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
