Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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