Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
