did you get engaged???
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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