Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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