At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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