North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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