I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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