Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
farters have to be the big spoon...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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