So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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