also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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