You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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