Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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