when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize