I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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