Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
