If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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