You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
zippers are such a cool invention
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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